When is Lent over again? My teenage son asked me this question a few days ago. I laughed, assuming it wasn’t a sign of his eagerness for Easter but more that he is done with this fasting thing regardless of its supposed benefits, and is ready to move on. I understand that feeling. I’ve reached the point in pregnancy where the level of extreme discomfort grows exponentially each day, making lack of sleep and a temptation towards crankiness my constant companions. I know it’s good for the baby to be in there awhile longer. But I am so ready to move on.
Thank you so much for your writing. Compelling questions all. We don't see a common theme, so we'll take each question separately and offer answers in an effort to help... without holding our breath.
1# If we are called to love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves (Mark 12:31) and one another as Christ loved the church (John 13:34, 15:12), then we must recognize the high-bar that actually is. If we think of that love as a distant and general goodwill, we're probably misreading the text. At least, that's not how we love ourselves or how Christ loves the church. That high calling comes without gender stipulation. That said, love doesn't come without boundaries that help to avoid danger and prevent harm. For example, suppose an opposite-gender friend is in a committed relationship and the expression of our love causes chaos and disruption in that relationship. In that case, boundaries would be an expression of love. Not a change in love, just change in expression. In short, men and women should be close friends, but the expression of their mutual caring may involve guardrails that would be situation dependent, providing protection and preventing harm.
#3 It seems that we're always doing identity construction. (It's never a settled matter.) Your question seems to be getting at whether we let others define us or do we have the courage to define ourselves. Unfortunately (or fortunately), we are humans - always together, never alone. Our ability to even conceive of a potential identity is probably socially mediated to some extent. In Who God Says You Are: A Christian Understanding of Identity, Klyne Snodgrass writes, “Identity ... is the result of our ability to think about ourselves, to be self-aware and to analyze our own thoughts and actions. At bottom identity is the internal me censoring, filtering, valuing, synthesizing, and interpreting how I stand with regard to all the realities of my life.” If that's true, then wouldn't identity construction, at least partially, be a continuing conversation, both internally and externally? ... a continuing conversation that needs monitoring, one in which the chaos of depravity is always at work. Another way to phrase the question might be, "Should we take a more active role in identity construction or more passive, blindly accepting the definitions foisted upon us?" Much of our identity has been decided for us by God: gender, ethnicity, history, geography, human value, (calling?)... Could identity construction then be more "identity recognition" and submission to who God says we are? How else could we "censor, filter, value" appropriately? Looking forward to your thoughts.
Thank you so much for your writing. Compelling questions all. We don't see a common theme, so we'll take each question separately and offer answers in an effort to help... without holding our breath.
1# If we are called to love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves (Mark 12:31) and one another as Christ loved the church (John 13:34, 15:12), then we must recognize the high-bar that actually is. If we think of that love as a distant and general goodwill, we're probably misreading the text. At least, that's not how we love ourselves or how Christ loves the church. That high calling comes without gender stipulation. That said, love doesn't come without boundaries that help to avoid danger and prevent harm. For example, suppose an opposite-gender friend is in a committed relationship and the expression of our love causes chaos and disruption in that relationship. In that case, boundaries would be an expression of love. Not a change in love, just change in expression. In short, men and women should be close friends, but the expression of their mutual caring may involve guardrails that would be situation dependent, providing protection and preventing harm.
2# Shame is an interesting concept and takes on different meanings in different cultural settings. In a confucian frame, the ability to have shame is seen as a virtue as in, "have you no shame?" See (Bongrae Seok: https://newbooksnetwork.com/bongrae-seok-moral-psychology-of-confucian-shame-shame-of-shamelessness-rowman-littlefield-2017/). In Defending Shame: Its Formative Power in Paul’s Letters, Te-Li Lau argues that Paul uses shame in a positive way. See (https://www.amazon.com/Defending-Shame-Formative-Power-Letters/dp/1540960145/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Defending+Shame%3A+The+Formative+Power+in+Paul’s+Letter&qid=1615392382&sr=8-1). At the same time, research professor Brené Brown sees shame as debilitating and destructive. (https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwic3YTrjabvAhVIVc0KHaoUBSIQFjANegQIKBAD&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ted.com%2Fspeakers%2Fbrene_brown&usg=AOvVaw1OZ6NBer5lLjWNNdGQj9tC) Could they all be talking about the same thing? Probably not. There may be a need for some semantic field clearing before this question can be answered. What do we mean by shame?
#3 It seems that we're always doing identity construction. (It's never a settled matter.) Your question seems to be getting at whether we let others define us or do we have the courage to define ourselves. Unfortunately (or fortunately), we are humans - always together, never alone. Our ability to even conceive of a potential identity is probably socially mediated to some extent. In Who God Says You Are: A Christian Understanding of Identity, Klyne Snodgrass writes, “Identity ... is the result of our ability to think about ourselves, to be self-aware and to analyze our own thoughts and actions. At bottom identity is the internal me censoring, filtering, valuing, synthesizing, and interpreting how I stand with regard to all the realities of my life.” If that's true, then wouldn't identity construction, at least partially, be a continuing conversation, both internally and externally? ... a continuing conversation that needs monitoring, one in which the chaos of depravity is always at work. Another way to phrase the question might be, "Should we take a more active role in identity construction or more passive, blindly accepting the definitions foisted upon us?" Much of our identity has been decided for us by God: gender, ethnicity, history, geography, human value, (calling?)... Could identity construction then be more "identity recognition" and submission to who God says we are? How else could we "censor, filter, value" appropriately? Looking forward to your thoughts.