the consolation of desolation

a few good interviews, college basketball, and a story that keeps me afloat

A cold rain, the first of the season, greeted me this morning. The swallows and wrens have resumed their morning song. College basketball plays on the TV, gearing up for March Madness that begins this week. I love the sound of squeaking shoes and referee whistles, and the underdog stories that always come with the NCAA tournament.

These small joys in the smallest of things are where it’s at right now, even though the world is swirling with wars and rumors of wars, and our host country is ramping up its COVID restrictions again (again? we despair of it ever letting up). On some days we defiantly fight back with acts of beautiful resistance, and other days it is just the rain and a coffee and a Villanova game that keeps us moving forward.

In the gospel of Mark, my Lenten read this year, it is mentioned multiple times that Jesus went away to a desolate place. He goes to pray, or to retreat from the crowds, or to rest with the disciples, or for no known reason. I am struck by how Jesus was willing to be in the desolate places, and how willing he was to live out of them. This was not a formula for self-care. This was depletion that was often met with more depletion. For example, in Mark 6 Jesus calls his disciples away “to a desolate place to rest awhile.” But after they arrive, they find the crowds have followed them. Jesus response is not with boundaries, but compassion. Out of the desolate place, he multiplies what little they have and provides a feast.

The story of the the loaves and fishes never ceases to inspire and amaze me. But it can also feel overdone. What am I to do with it? Expect a miracle every time we think we don’t have enough? I don’t know that I can, or should. But Jesus response is instructive to me, and this story is one of many in the gospel of Mark that tells me this: Jesus is boss. He’s in charge. He is full of power and authority over everyone and everything. And that includes me— especially and not least while we are in the desolate places.

This Jesus is boss thing is the other phenomenon that is getting me through the days of nagging doubts about the future, worries over the well-being of our kids, and feeling completely and utterly done with the restrictions on our lives. I’m thankful for the small joys and the glimpses of goodness, but I’m falling hard on the fact that Jesus calls the shots and he does so in any and every kind of place— including desolate ones.

I listened to a few interviews this week that reminded me of this truth across the spectrum of lives and experiences, and it did me no small amount of good to hear them:

A thoughtful conversation on how Christians understand God’s providence, with a professor at Regent College. I especially loved what he says about prayer… “an act of God” and the way God is antithetical to what we see in today’s authoritarian dictators.

Sam Allberry’s story and take on what it means have your identity in Christ— being found in and willing to let Jesus be in charge of who you are.

A Fresh Air interview, where it was the absence of grace that, to me was a compelling testimony of the need for God to be in charge of our life— both the beginning and the end.

I hope that you have your own version of birdsong and basketball games to lift your spirits these days. And that on a deeper level, you are finding the Rock a soft place to land.

Thanks for reading,

Christine