A Prayer for Those Who Responded Wrongly

Sometimes, we get it wrong.

I remember a time someone I know had messed up badly. They had lost it, said the wrong thing, acted in the wrong way. Apologies didn’t heal the situation. Praying didn’t lighten the load. I remember this person saying, “I feel like I just need to be forgiven.”

I have often wondered if there isn’t a necessary piece to confession that we miss out on in our low church circles, e.g. the physical act of confessing to a priest or pastor—to have a tangible presence, a voice, the weight of a hand placed on your head, absolving you, covering you.

Maybe Jesus meant for us to be more like his hands and feet than we realize.

Recently, I had one of these days myself, when I knew I was wrong, and nothing could shake the burden I felt. I wrote this prayer, and then yesterday sent it to another person who was in the same boat, and I offer it to you today. Maybe you, too need that hand on your head, or to offer it to someone else.

A Prayer for Those Who Responded Wrongly

O Lord, I see now, too late, that I was in the wrong.

I see, with clear and bittersweet hindsight that I was blinded by my self-importance, sense of superiority, desire to put another in their place, to fight for a truth that now seems—lost, unimportant.

I am ashamed when I think of how I acted, how differently you modeled this for me, and how even as I “asked for wisdom,” I missed it. I ran headlong in my fury, and did not hear your gentle voice.

You once said to a woman: neither do I condemn you. Now go, and sin no more. I see now how gracious you were. More of grace than judgment. More open hands than a fist.

I am haunted by my failure. How can I ask for mercy when I gave none? Yet here I stand, in a long line of the undeserving, of those who have no right.

I confess, I repent, but I still feel the burden of my actions.

Help me to crawl out of this place I sit. To stand up again, to move towards people again, to remain humbled by this memory, but never out of your reach, nor beyond the touch of your hands.